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The Passionate Speaker
"Nothing worth doing is worth doing alone"
- Thomas J. LeonardA Newsletter for Speakers By Michael Landrum February 13, 2003 — Number 49 Ten Commandments of Communication All right, “Commandment” may be an overstatement here. These are not Biblical Laws, carved into stone tablets, but they are good rules to follow. A few of them are essential to the success of speaking and leadership. 1) Listen generously. This is first on the list because before you can speak and really be heard, you must earn the right. Emerson said: “first seek to understand, then to be understood.” How do you listen to an audience? Begin by doing some research on them. Find out who they are, what they need and want, and what they expect from you. When you step up to the lectern, take a moment and listen. Are they settled down and ready to hear you? During your speech, keep listening. Pay attention to them. Are they leaning forward, backward or on each other? Be willing to depart from your prepared remarks to recover your rapport with them. Ask them questions. Even something as simple as “Is that clear?” can re-establish contact. 2) Say what you mean and mean what you say. Aren’t these two phrases the same? No indeed: “Say what you mean,” is about telling the truth, “Mean what you say,” is about making a commitment, keeping your promise, honoring your word. The basic premise that anchors this commandment is to have something meaningful to say. Step to the lectern with the intention of making a difference to your audience. 3) Use the fewest words with the fewest syllables. I run afoul of this one all the time. It’s the main reason I rewrite so often, looking for big, two-dollar words I can swap for a single ten-cent syllable. That’s real economy in writing. At Gettysburg cemetery, the main speaker, a Harvard professor, spoke for two hours, using a rich, flowery, academic vocabulary; Lincoln spoke for two minutes and most of his words were one syllable. Which speech do we remember? 4) Align with your audience. While we may consider it our task to speak to the audience, it is even more important to speak for them. No matter what your purpose in standing before them - to persuade, inspire, educate or entertain, you must express those thoughts and feelings that you share with them. Even if you think they are wrong and you are the advocate of sweeping change, you will not be able to budge them until you can understand and articulate their feelings. Great leaders know that leadership begins with the pronoun "We." 5) Be specific. Use stories, anecdotes, parables and examples, rather than generalities and abstractions. This is a tough one for some people. They love to wander through a topic in the abstract, scattering generalities as they go. The great teachers and speakers pepper their talks with vivid, detailed examples. “Love thy neighbor,” is abstract and general; the parable of the Good Samaritan is specific. The same goes for the language you choose. “He seemed upset as he left.” is general. “He sighed, sniffled, blew his nose, kicked the dog and slammed the door.” is specific. 6) Suit the action to the word, the word to the action. This is Hamlet’s advice to the players and it simply means don’t say “I’m glad to be here,” while looking at your wristwatch. Be aware of your non-verbal communication. Your gestures, posture, facial expression, energy, tone of voice and a thousand other tiny, unuttered elements actually carry the true and specific meaning of your communication. We can understand the words, “I love you,” well enough; but their true importance, their actual meaning, is all wrapped up in how they are spoken, and by whom. 7) Structure your speech. One valuable way to make your talk memorable is to speak to a structure and make your listeners aware of it. By sharing with them not only the content of your thoughts, but the form of them as well, they will be able to follow even your more complex ideas. This makes it easier for you to remember, too. You’d be surprised how many people will appreciate the scenery more when they are given a periodic glance at the road map. 8) Speak to be understood. Have the courtesy to enlarge your voice so that all may hear you. Just as you groom your appearance, so should you cultivate your voice. Learn to use it in ways that will be pleasing – crisp, clear and various in texture, color and range. Understand that this is the musical instrument the human ear most loves, so let it provide a melody for your text. It is a sad thing when speakers expend a great deal of energy to create a vivid, well constructed talk and are not willing to put the necessary effort into projecting and articulating it sufficiently. As my grandmother used to say, "they might just as well have stayed in bed." 9) Speak for the benefit of others. Serve your audience well by keeping their interests foremost in your mind. This is the golden rule of speaking. You know as an audience member how easy it is to tell when a speaker is serving him or her self and when the audience is being served. Nothing communicates more clearly than intentions. 10) Speak from your highest self. Lincoln accomplished this regularly in his speeches. He never spoke of demonizing others, even the enemy. With clear, simple language that went directly to the hearts of his hearers, he evoked the “better angels of our nature,” and thereby elevated everyone together. The highest self is where hope resides. To lead effectively requires a courageous, positive, optimistic view. As any astronaut will tell you, if you get high enough you will be in perpetual sunshine. There must be a caveat attached to this rule, however – beware of elevating yourself with a high horse. Be humble. Having an opinion is a meager accomplishment. On most occasions a modest demeanor improves communication. Lincoln was capable of an endearing modesty, often making himself the butt of his own jokes. He once said: "If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?" Something to Ponder "The simple act of admitting you don't know an answer, at present, activates your inner wisdom and guidance. By simply being willing to wait for inspiration, you virtually guarantee that it will come." - Richard Carlson ©2001-2003 Michael F. Landrum |
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